Having closely assessed my finances I've discovered that it's not likely I'll run into a deficit before I graduate it's a damn certainty and with a request being put in with the bank of mum and dad for help with the £300 deposit I have to put down on my house for next year this week I can't justify asking them for more money.
With such financial drains I've had to pull out of the Glasgow Open, the great fencing trip to Glasgow that is always a highlight of my calender and has been an Easter-ish time tradition the last two years. This is particularly frustrating as I wanted us to win Best Club there this year which obviously would have been particularly important to me as the Club Captain.I'm staying in Liverpool overtime to work on my dissertation. Yesterday my laptop shut itself off whilst I was working and I've lost not only 300 words of the draft but around twelve pages of research that was painfully squeezed out of the internet connection which is also fluctuating between dead and snail's pace at the moment.
Everyone's gone home now except Jon and it's at times like these when I realise how much I've changed. In years gone by (quite a time ago) I had no problems with my own company and would quite happily watch a DVD, play a game, read a book, write just spend time with myself and be happy. These days I find myself craving just a chat over a cup of tea or a ten minute bantering session with someone. I suppose its a change for the best - it shows how I've developed as a social creature and improved my communication skills to the Nth degree, does make you feel quite lonely at times though.
Given the laptop unreliability and the crappy internet I'm considering relocating to the library. At least there I can people watch for a while. The only hassle is carting off the quite considerably pile of books that I've accumulated around this dissertation - many of which are actually my own property now not library books.
On the plus sides I had a good day of rugby yesterday and whilst after 40 minutes of Wales doing what Wales do best (keeping Welsh fans scared) I was petrified it was going to be a very bad day for the Celts (Scotland and Ireland both losing their matches). The boyos pulled through and the Grand Slam cheer went up. For the record I dared to believe in them from the start! I've also recovered from my flu, my immune system beating it down to just a very annoying cold now. That in itself is a miracle given my current sleep deprived, malnourished state.
Where was I, oh yeah - so I'm poor, my laptop is playing up, the internet is playing up, my dissertation isn't going greatly and what work I'm doing is being sabotaged by Gremlins. The majority of people have gone away and left me. I'm going to have to job hunt straight after Easter is over - when hopefully my dissertation is at least fully drafted.
I'm considering packing it all in, job, uni, house, life and putting on my warmest layers, grabbing a few good pens and some pads and bumming my way around the UK as a writer-tramp (George Orwell did it!!!). Well okay, maybe I'm not THAT down but sometimes with a whole week of monotony ahead of you its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and not imagine an oncoming train or a psycho with a flamethrower.
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