Portrait of the Artist as a Tired Man

I'm so tired!!!

In no small part that's due to that fact that last night I went back to fencing for the first time in approximately ten months.

I'd forgotten how tiring it was, it's not that I'm unfit now, it's just that fencing uses muscle sets that don't normally get worked in the library or Waterstone's. I got good number of hours sleep but I still woke up tired, it didn't get any better from there.

I've done a doodle of my current state as I imagine I look.

Go to bed then! I hear you cry, but you see - I can't. As I reported yesterday, I lost a story I was working on when my PC died and I've had a small spark of inspiration about how to rewrite what I'd lost so I can't rest until I've drained all the energy from that spark, otherwise it might not still be there when I wake up.

Anyway, this is a minor divergence, I'm going to go make some squash and then carry on with this story. Somewhere along the line I have to get cracking with the books for next week too: Katherine Burdekin's Swastika Night and Ursula LeGuin's Birthday of the World.

The Ghost in the Machine is now simply a Ghost

Yesterday my computer died.

Those more attentive to my increasingly rare status changes on my Facebook page may have noticed that a number of days previous I had reportedly "broken" Microsoft Word. Inexplicably this key programme had failed to operate, it failed to ever open.

It seems this was the first symptom of a wider more general problem. Yesterday morning before leaving for work I tried to switch on my computer only to be confronted with a blue screen of death. Something I haven't seen since the old days when I used to mess around on my Mum's computers in school which were running Windows 98. Anyway, this message said that I was experiencing "Unmountable Boot Volume". Restarting numerous times didn't help and today Rob confirmed my fear that the problem may be the physical mechanical failure of my hard drive rather than any sort of system error or software corruption. This means its unlikely I'll be able to recover any of my files, though I hold out hope an expert may manage it.

Most of what was on my PC was backed up onto either my USB stick or my External Hard Drive. Only some photos from the last couple of weeks, some of my newer music and some random jottings would be lost. One thing that I'm grateful isn't is my PhD proposal which has been saved purely by virtue of the fact I recently e-mailed it to some members of staff and can extract it from the sent e-mail still in my hotmail account.

One of the things that HAS been lost (though maybe it can yet be saved) is a story I was working on. This is particularly annoying as I'd written some 5,000 words of it and it was the first creative project I've embarked on in some time that I honestly believed had legs. (Most of my creative projects fizzle out after the initial boom, I either get bored, realise it's rubbish or forget about it).

I'm going to start again because I think it was genuinely a good concept for a short novella and would like to take a stab at writing it in full - something I've not attempted in earnest since I shelved my dystopian science fiction epic XY which I began writing in Year 11 and reached some 50,000 words before realising most of it was tripe and I'd come back to the good bits when I knew a little bit more about literature.

Who knows whether this one will go anywhere, it's not gotten off to the most auspicious of starts but who knows, maybe this will be the one. Not the big one that makes me famous, but the one I actually finish.

Eye eye

So I've been procrastinating again. Last week I watched a brilliant documentary presented by the legend that is Sir David Attenborough, it was about Darwin and the "Tree of Life". Now obviously Darwin crystallised the idea that we now think of as the theory of evolution, but one of the prime arguments against that theory is the eye.

The eye is an incredibly complex organ and if just one thing is slightly wrong then it just won't work. Anti-evolutionists argue that this is evidence that the eye was designed and put onto Earth in its current form rather than evolving. Attenborough however showed several intermediary stages that could actually have led to the evolution of the eye and some creatures that are alive today that still exhibit these "primordial eyes". At the end of the segment there was a quick montage of eyes in the animal kingdom. Only about four different eyes, I can't remember which ones (the red eyed tree frog was definitely in there) and it was a beautifully done piece.

Basically it reminded me of the beauty of eyes, it's something I've always been amazed by since I was very small. The changes in colour, shape, pattern. In the human eye alone these are remarkable, but take in the whole animal kingdom and its terrific.

So below I've created a collage of photos of eyes, there are sharks, eagles, lions, cats, frogs, geckos, humans and so many more. Hope you like it. I'm going to get it printed and put it on my wall. Lovely.

Behold! I procrastinate anew

Hi all, today I unveiled my latest method of procrastination which is in fact an old form given rebirth. I have once again taken to lifting my paint brush. My first real focus for this new way of avoiding doing anything official was to pain Kate's 21st Birthday present - a picture of the stunning view from her old room in our old house - it took longer than I thought it would as it's been five years since I last did a watercolour, however today I mounted and framed the painting and presented it as a late birthday gift.

For those of you who don't have the honour of owning the original, a photograph is shown here:-



I plan to begin a campaign of regular paintings mostly for procrastination, self enjoyment and decoration.

Whilst I hold no pretensions to greatness (I recognise my skill is mediocre at best and certainly below many of my artistically talented friends) I'm looking forward to honing a new skill, or rather to brushing up on an old one. (pardon the pun).

I'd appreciate you're opinions on my first official piece...

My Bad Morning

What a morning. I couldn't believe it!

I had no cereal in and we'd run out of toilet paper so I decided to pop around the corner to our local Lidl, it's only 5 minutes away and really convenient so I grabbed my keys and strolled down there in just jeans and a t-shirt. I buy what I want, sacrificing my normal choco-pillows for some cheaper choco-rocks to save the pennies. I get home and get my keys out. Crap. I'd accidentally picked up the wrong set of keys and was now locked out without a phone and no one in the house to let me in.

After a short period of cursing I realised my only option was to walk from out Kensington house to our landlord's offices on Smithdown Road. I had no watch so I have no idea how long it took but I walked there carrying my toilet roll and cereal in my hands as I'd not taken a bag. At one point it started to rain but I glared at the slate grey sky and it stopped, breaking in the glorious sunshine (no, really). I got there at 11am so I'm pretty sure it took more than half an hour which was a problem as I still had to get back to the house and get ready for work, I had to leave the house at 11.30 or I'd run the risk of being late. I got to MGM's offices and they didn't have a key they could give me. Marvelous I thought. They did however ring someone to go and meet me back at the house in twenty minutes.

Okay thought I, grabbing a tenner from the cash point at ASDA and jumping into a taxi back to the house (£4.80 - so much for saving the pennies). The bloke from MGM got there at 11.20 and let me in, I had ten minutes to spare. I ate my cereal and got dressed for work but then couldn't find my real keys! Hunting high and low in my pit... sorry, my room... I found them but had by now passed my 11.30 deadline and had to race down the hill on my bike to get to Primark on time. Typically I got stuck behind a bus which was in turn stuck behind a tractor (A TRACTOR! In Liverpool city centre!) and all the lights turned red just before I got to them.

My legs burning and sweat pouring down my back I made it to work with two minutes to spare which was a miracle but considering I'd gotten up early to have plenty of time to relax before work it was a pretty bad start to a day. But at least it gave me something to blog about!

A further nuisance is that I went into a few shops after work to acquire something to complete my (late) birthday present for Kate. I naively thought I could just walk in and get one but it seems I have to wait 48 hours (starting tomorrow) so sorry Kate, I haven't forgotten, nor have I been idle since your birthday but your present wont be given to you until later this week. Sorry x

Back from the summer hiatus (I really do love that word!)

Yes I've used the same intellectual sounding word twice in two blog titles but I don't care! I love that word, it ranks right up there amongst my favourite words (talking of which there's a newcomer in that category: papoose).

Anyway, back to the point - I've not blogged since before my dissertation deadline so here's a brief summary of what’s happened since then:

> Dissertation was handed in successfully. Got a 2:1. Content with that though was hoping for a 1st.

> As such my whole degree came out as a 2:1 with a strong average, for what thats worth. This means I got onto my MA course. Still wish I'd done that bit extra for the 1st. Have vowed to get a distinction in my Masters instead.

>Was chuffed to bits to have a letter appear in Empire though miffed to hell at that being the month they changed from giving a prize to every letter to reinstating the letter of the month format.

>Got job in Primark, slave away there for £5.69 an hour. My contract hours are Saturdays: 10.30-20.00 and Sunday 09.30-18.00.

>Went to see the new Indiana Jones film and was unimpressed, let down even.

>Discovered "Zero Punctuation"

>Attempted to move into new house, found it to be a sh*t hole and relocated to new, nicer abode.

>Graduated.

>Saw "Dark Knight" at a preview screening two days before the general release. Thought it was amazing, absolutely loved it. Also loved the limited edition moving posted I got free for going.

>Went to Barcelona with family

>Decided walking to Primark was too much effort (45mins!) so brought bike to Liverpool and now put life into the hands of the drivers on Edge Lane at least twice a week

>Dressed as a Celt for Kate's Liverpool 21st Birthday Party, the theme was nations. (See pic below)

>Saw R.E.M. at Old Trafford Cricket Ground, supported by The Guillemots and The Editors.

>Saw the Trestles as part of the Matthew Street Festival which I finally made it to for the first time.

>Made a trip to Cardiff to visit the now distant Bec and Steve as well as some family in Swansea. Saw former-Stereophonic drummer Stuart Cable in Cardiff.

Well anyway, that brings you up to speed. I'll be posting at least a few more times in the coming days, hopefully at least once a week. Until then this is me signing off. Adios Amigos

Anything I've forgotten may be added at a later stage....

So much for that

So much for that bright idea. Yes, you may have noticed my Blog status updates kind of petered out. Those on Facebook will have noted my slowly, yet steadily, rising word count in my status though.

It's Sunday night (or really, really early on Monday morning depending on your point of view) and I have the following still to do:-

Re-write my dissertation introduction
Sort out my dissertation references and bibliography
Bind said dissertation
Write 1 x 500 words review
Write 1 x 1000 word peer-review
Write 1 x 2000 word self assessment.

As well as this any re-reading and editing of the dissertation and the rest of my creative writing portfolio will be counted as a bonus.

This leaves me a hefty work load to get through and tomorrow (Monday) the last day on which I can do most of it - the creative writing has to be handed in on Tuesday whilst the dissertation has until Wednesday, though to limit hair loss by alopecia I want it bound by Tuesday afternoon at the latest.

So, once more I push on, my final words and the finishing touches on my entire Undergraduate life.

24,000

Today I calculated that the sum total word count of all of my work is 24,000 words. 3,000 of that is due in twelve days. The rest is due in a grand total of 18! Now there's a thought to get you working!

Here's the work so far:

TUESDAY
> Drafted Contemp essay. Did basic research.
> Wrote a couple of lines of dissertation
- Watched hour long documentary on BBC iPlayer about the Guttenburg Press, presented by Stephen Fry

WEDNESDAY
> Had Creative Writing piece slated and was told to completely change the focus (and plot) of the piece, involving not only a complete re-write but also (the harder bit) a complete re-think and indeed re-imagining.
> Wrote 1000 words of Contemp essay and did more research
> Worked out the grand total words (ie. just before writing this blog - see above)
- Sulked about the creative writing seminar
- watched my first ever episode of the apprentice

A semi-depressing attempt at achieving self-accountability

Right, I've got a stack of work to do in the next three weeks and in an attempt to motivate myself to not only work, but work at an increased rate - I'm going to try and post daily, or at least semi-regular posts on here detailing my progress.

I'm doing this for multiple reasons (well, so far only two. But I'll add more when they come to me):

1) So that anyone who reads this (Stephen...) can see what I'm up to and not nag me for not getting out or alternatively can kick me up the arse every now and again to get me to increase my productivity.

2) So I can see my achievement in progress, hopefully releaving some of the depression that falls on me every time I look at how much work there still is to do.



Anything interesting that (feel oblidged to / want to procrastinate for a moment about / have time to) Blog about will find my little counter at the end.

The most depressing thing of all is that unless I get some sort of income soon, I won't even be able to afford a proper celebration when all of this is over!

Things relevant to my course are marked > and things I had to do that arn't course specific are -

So here goes (backdated to Sunday):
SUNDAY
> wrote approx 3,500 words of a short story for Creative Writing (Prose) module
- Watched Doctor Who on iPlayer (I missed it on Saturday night)

MONDAY
> Re-drafted yesterday's story
> Re-drafted existing 3,500 words of dissertation
> Wrote 500 words of dissertation
> Began reading of Alice Oswald's Dart for tomorrow's Contemporary Fiction seminar
- Handed in documents to next year's landlord
- Created this blog post
- Attempted to reschedule a fencing tournament due to "booking error."

The Highs and Lows of Living in Liverpool

I've got to give credit where credit is due. Those who know me know that I'm far from a sport aficionado. I mean I like watching sport, I enjoy a good display of talent, but its not high on my list of things I'd like to be doing, especially not football. Football, especially at a Premiership level annoys me more than it excites me, too many big egos swaggering around, if I had to spend time watching a sport a good rugby game beats a good football game almost every time.

But this is Liverpool, a football city, and this is the Champions League. So, Kate and I (Kate being the true fan) went down to the Flute to watch the third of Liverpool's recent confrontations with Arsenal. I've got to be honest, if I was sitting at home listening to the radio and the scores were announced on the ten o'clock news I'd like Liverpool to win, just because it's my adoptive city and I have a lot of love for this place, but at the end of the day I don't really care, if they'd lost I wouldn't spare it more than a brief thought.

But going to watch it in the pub, it changes things.

The Flute is a perfect sport watching location with screens everywhere you can always see the action no matter how packed the place is and though it didn't quite compare to the capacity I experiences last year for the Champion's League final the place was still pretty well jammed. We had to stand, both with our coke's: me out of a reluctance to needlessly consume alcohol (and a very low budget at the moment) and Kate out of respect for her drunken state last night and the match began.

I won't give a commentary of the match, those that care will have already seen it or will find much better match summaries elsewhere. What I really want to express in this Blog entry is the power of a crowd and the atmosphere of a pub in Liverpool that gets behind its team.

The match was very up and down and despite my nonchalance regarding the final result I found myself upset when Arsenal pulled ahead on aggregate and jumping for joy when Gerard slotted in the penalty to put Liverpool ahead (pictured) let alone the fourth goal! Singing "You'll Never Walk Alone" at the top of my lungs with who knows how many people joining me, it lifts you, it sends a thrill through you and you experience something really special.

I still don't care about football and if Liverpool don't win this cup it won't make me lose any sleep but for 90 minutes I was part of something amazing and I think that whether you like football or not that experience is something special and well worth revisiting.